My mentioning of Marsport reminded me of another Mars moment in my life.

It came in early November 2005. I had sent an email to the FCO team in which I attempted to explain what had happened in Polish politics that previous week, when the wrangling following Poland’s 2005 Parliamentary elections was at its most intense.

Basically, the two more or less Centre Right parties (Citizens Platform led by Donald Tusk, and Law and Justice led Jaroslaw Kaczynski) had entered the elections promising to join forces in a governing coalition thereafter if they prevailed against the Centre Left.

They indeed prevailed massively against the Centre Left. But instead of Citizens Platform coming first as most commentators – and Citizens Platform – had expected, the Kaczynski twins’ party nosed in front and won more seats.

This meant that the new government would have to be formed on the Kaczynskis’ terms. A furious row between the two parties promptly started, much to the dismay of the Polish masses who had just given them a powerful mandate to rule nicely together.

I tried to explain to a bemused FCO what all this meant for us/EU/NATO in policy terms, but confessed that I did not have the foggiest idea what would happen next. 

And I added a terse but heartfelt Conclusion, from ‘Aghast in Warsaw’: "If the UK adopts a PR voting system I am emigrating to Mars." 

I heard subsequently that then Foreign Secretary Jack Straw read out this sentence in Cabinet. Probably just to show that even the FCO finds it impossible to get good staff these days.

More significantly, it happens that I have tiny but beautiful golden flecks in my eyes. Maybe I should be getting home anyway?