Tim Collard, (a retired British diplomat who spent most of his career in China and Germany. He is an active member of the Labour Party) offers a jeer in the Telegraph at William Hague’s sensible comment on the FCO Popegate fiasco:

William Hague, who expects to be in charge in King Charles Street in a fortnight’s time, has laid out the Tory position sternly and clearly. “A Conservative-run Foreign and Commonwealth Office would put a stop to such pointless time-wasting and insulting activities. Visits by international leaders should be handled with the respect they deserve and that we would expect to be extended to us.”

Collard then tries to ‘fisk’ this. Read it and see just what a flimsy, feeble effort it is.

Example:

And then “Visits by international leaders should be handled with the respect they deserve”. Well, that’s a bit double-edged; does he mean “the respect they think they deserve”? Is Mr Hague going to launch a new procession of Ceausescu knighthoods? What about the ones who “deserve” no better than a bullet in the back of the bonce? (I am not talking about the Pope here.)

The FCO has frequently been criticised for being far too obsequious as it is. May I remind Mr Hague that the purpose of high-level visits is to advance British interests, not to make foreigners feel good about themselves?

What?

Who invited the vile communist Ceausescu on a full State Visit to this country? Why, Labour of course.

Look, Tim, a word of advice. Please don’t market yourself to Telegraph readers as a former diplomat, but then traduce elementary diplomatic courtesies and professional technique.

The way the Miliband FCO has handled this visit by the Pope has been an unambiguous disgrace on numerous levels.

Fact. Be a man. Take the hit for your team.

May I remind Mr Hague that the purpose of high-level visits is to advance British interests, not to make foreigners feel good about themselves? Obviously we will treat them with the respect and consideration necessary to influence them in our favour, but that’s all…

… Mr Hague, even if you do model your tenure of office as Foreign Secretary on the Red Army in Poland, you’ll still be dealing with a large number of very bright and perceptive people.

Our diplomats spend quite a lot of their time dealing with the vagaries and vanities of foreign statespersons. There is no way they are ever going to be forced to take these people seriously.

What? This is both patronising and stupid.

The problem is that foreign statespersons will no longer take our diplomats seriously, because New Labour have dumbed down the FCO to startlingly low levels of professional incompetence. Imagine the amazement of Vatican officials when this vacuous phenomenon appeared in Rome, flown there by UK taxpayers to do a serious job.

And what do you suggest by the insane idea that our diplomats need to be ‘forced’ to take foreign leaders seriously?

Not all foreign leaders are respectable or respectworthy. But there are few indeed who do not represent something significant in their own states or more widely.

The core art of diplomacy is getting on with people, especially those who are ‘difficult’ or problematic. Which is why it is essential to build up a cadre of people who understand subtle specific foreign nuances.

This is what the FCO had achieved, painstakingly built up over many decades and admired around the planet, until New Labour came along and blow by blow literally deconstructed those assets.

So whereas I myself fear that William Hague will not show the merciless Stalinist steel required to liquidate, torture and imprison FCO staff in anything like the way the Red Army brutalised Poland, I think he can do a lot by sacking a few senior people to catch the FCO’s collective attention, firmly drawing a good old Polish gruba kreska under Labour misrule.

And start to re-emphasise basic standards of courtesy, professionalism and good sense.

The sooner the better.