As England groans under snow and howling icy gales, I am heading for Mauritius. On a training expedition for a UN organisation.

ADRg Ambassadors have been asked to give their senior officials some expert training in Diplomatic Skills (Making an Impact) and Negotiation (Reaching the Deal).

What are so-called diplomatic skills?

You have to pay us to find out all about the darker arts. In this case we’ll be drawing on our extensive experience to explain how best to operate as a head of mission in foreign countries, how to make (and keep) contacts, and how to make effective public statements.

There is a mass of literature about negotiation technique. We’ll be looking at how best to get results when you have either a strong position – or a weak position.

Other than that, as the chill fingers of frost creep into English entrails we’ll be lying on a warm beach as local smiling maidens offer us exotic tropical nourishment. Who said training is boring?