Plodding round the garden trying to cut the grass, I kept thinking about the momentous words of John Bosnitch!

He dismissed me summarily on B92’s site as an "ex-ambassador trying to complete England’s never-ending mission of subduing Serbia as part of its global policy against Russia".

Huh?

What does JB think happens each day in English (or even British) diplomacy?

Does he really think that our diplomats and Ministers spring from their beds, cast off their flannel jim-jams and gobble their cornflakes in their fevered haste to get through the London rush-hour to the Foreign Office and start a new day scheming Serbia’s downfall?

Does he think that we have a Top Secret folder full of instructions originating in the C19 for subduing Serbia and crushing all fair-minded Serbian aspirations?

Just say the UK back in 1990 had been given one Balkan wish by the Good Fairy’s magic wand. It would have been that Yugoslavia dump its ridiculous communist system and move fast to join the EU, or failing that become a successful non-EU but active country like Norway.

Once Yugoslavia started to collapse, we would have been more than happy to wish that that happen peacefully, with Serbia engaging in constructive competition with Slovenia to be the first former Yugoslav republic running an EU Presidency.

Had our wishes been granted, Serbia now would be far richer, visa-free for all EU countries, and maybe even enjoying a lot of options for managing its ‘never-ending’ Kosovo problem from a position of strength, not weakness.

All this was made clear time after time after time to Serbian leaders in Belgrade, publicly and privately.

Some listened. Some did not. Too many preferred to mess around.

Result? A weakened, unhappy, underperforming Serbia.

I suppose that the great advantage of selling conspiracy theories is that they ascribe to one’s enemies supernatural powers of effective craftiness, to the point of giving the seller the ideal excuse for stupidity and idleness – "Our situation is hopeless. Whatever we do will be neutralised – by Them!"

Earth to Planet Serbia: Those who cooperate with others and work hard and sensibly tend to do well. Those who isolate themselves and are stupid and idle tend to fall behind.

Fair enough?