How to explain the frantic efforts of Gordon Brown to stay at No 10?

One seriously insane theory I have heard, and NB it is insane, runs as follows.

Remember that idea that Tony Blair wants to be the first ‘President of Europe’ once the Lisbon Treaty comes into force?

That suits plenty of European leaders. OK, on the down side Iraq and all that adoration of Bush was not good. But that’s fading away now.

On the plus side, Blair gets on with Obama. He charmingly did not kick France when it was down and needed kicking after its 2005 referendum debacle. Then he gave away the principle of the UK Rebate for not much in the Financial Perspective decision.

Above all, to neutralise the appeal and impact of a Eurosceptic and popular Cameron in London who better than a friendly and unthreatening Britisher in the Top Job?

What could get in the way for Tony Blair himself?

Only Gordon Brown’s ruinous performance and the premature collapse of the UK Labour Government, with a likely triumph for David Cameron.

Because Cameron might not be as enthusiastic about having T Blair in such a powerful job ‘above’ him.

Plus, worse, Cameron might even live up to his promise and call a UK referendum on the Treaty, if it is not fully in force by then. And that might sink (a) the Treaty and (b) the Blair ambition.

So how might the Blair camp best stop that happening?

Keep Labour afloat, come what may, to delay any UK election for as long as possible.

If that leads to the Labour Party being obliterated down the road, so what? These days the real power (or more than enough of it) is in Brussels anyway. Plus, who knows, something might turn up to reduce the eventual carnage.

How, then, best to keep Labour afloat?

The only safe way is to infliltrate the Government at a very high level and then manoeuvre Brown to stagger on at any cost, believing that he is still running the shop.

The supreme beauty of the scheme lies in the fact that with his dying political breath Gordon Brown will hand his arch-rival T Blair that top job.

O Defeat and Humiliation, what a joyous relief you are:

He gazed up at the enormous face on the poster down the side of EU HQ in Brussels. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose.

But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.

Such scheming would be Utterly Unprincipled. It makes the British national interest a hostage to private Blairish machinations. And, for all its audacity and cunning, it would be very difficult to implement.

Very difficult.

But not impossible?

As I said.

Insane.