Yesterday evening as I wearily wended my way home from Paris, I had to get the 2115 train from Paddington to Swansea. For some or other reason it was very full.

I made my way to the front of the train to save time when getting off at Didcot, and opened a carriage door. The way was almost completely blocked by someone’s large luggage pile and said person (hereinafter Jerk-in-Cap) himself.

What ensued was roughly this

JiC:   Sorry, the train’s full

CC:   Huh?

JiC:   It’s full. You can’t get past here.

CC:   Yes I can – just move out of the way and I’ll squeeze past.

JiC:   Where do you want me to go?

CC:   Just move back and I’ll get on.

JiC them grumpily retreated a bit and I squeezed past his luggage pile to walk into a standing-room only carriage.

CC:   There, magic. Not even difficult, was it?

The train got even fuller. Then JiC started to try to stop someone (X) with a folded-up bicycle getting on:

JiC:   You can’t get past. It’s full. And you can’t bring that bike in here!

X:      Yes I can – the rules say so

JiC:   No you can’t. I’m a lawyer!

At this point passenger Y lost his patience and started remonstrating with JiC, saying that he had watched him being rude and obnxious with two people so far and that he had no right to stop people trying to get on by usurping the doorway space.

An unpleasant and foul-mouthed exchange ensued. X then demanded to know who Y was. Y turned out to be some sort of railway official and gave him his personnel number, which JiC proceeded to write down pompously in a little notebook.

I then pushed through the throng to give Y my card, saying that I too was a lawyer and that if JiC caused him any problem I’d be honoured to act as a witness.

All the other passengers watching this unseemly scene at point-blank range kept a glum silence. Alas I did not have the presence of mind to film the whole second exchange on my iPhone. But I did take a picture of Jerk-in-Cap which I’ll treasure for always.

What if anything is noteworthy in this stupid little episode?

Only that there are two ways to go in life.

One is to pick stupid, negative fights over nothing much and be wrapped up in yourself and your own ‘rights’.

The other is to be open-hearted and positive.

Imagine if Jerk-in-Cap had spoken thus when I’d opened the door:

I’m so sorry that I’ve got all this luggage almost blocking the doorway. The train’s so full I’ve nowhere to put it – but let me get out of the way and help you get past!

So easy. Adds a cheering touch of humanity to a long sweaty day for everyone in the vicinity.

But then someone who behaved like that would not be a Jerk.